Tuesday, September 16, 2008

An Actual Conversation with a Very Famous Author

ME: So, Mr. Very Famous Author, I hope that you are as excited to come to GW as we are to have you in residence this coming spring.

FAMOUS AUTHOR: Indeed I am.

ME: It's a big deal for us, and we'd like to celebrate it.

FAMOUS AUTHOR: I see.

ME: I've been charged with obtaining a quote from you for our press release. What would you like to say?

FAMOUS AUTHOR: Well, it has been a while since I've had the pleasure of being in a classroom. I last taught at Princeton oh, five or six years ago. I'm looking forward to working with the GW undergraduates.

ME: That's it?

FAMOUS AUTHOR: That's not enough?

ME: I was hoping for something like "I am so eager to become a member of the GW English Department, recognized around the cosmos for its excellence in everything it does. I am especially looking forward to working with the chair, Jeffrey J. Cohen, because I know him to be the best department chair around. He is a brilliant man and the real reason I signed up to teach at GW."

FAMOUS AUTHOR: That goes without saying.

ME: No it doesn't! I can't put it in the press release if you don't say it.

FAMOUS AUTHOR: Hahahaha.

Well, he didn't ever say the words I tried to put into his mouth, but I know he was thinking them. Here, for the record, is what he did say:
I am looking forward to joining such a lively English Department. I'm also eager to be in an undergraduate classroom, affecting writers at a pivotal time in their lives.
Look for our official announcement here and around the university very soon.

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An Actual Conversation with a Very Famous Author
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Oleh

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